randomnestical story

so i was in my yellow jumpsuit
and i was riging my unicorn...which has tentacles...a unicorn with tentacles!!! sooooooooo amazing!!!

and we flew to this magical place called the church of scientology...and we got there...and they were like ZOMG its an alien! we win bitches
and all the catholics turn to me and point and go "demon child" ::sprit holywater::
and the jews are like....oh let's steal it and sell it and buy yamikas because you can never have too many yamikas....

and then all of these stupid mormons come along all well dressed and they're like "we need to save you " and i'm just like "screw you religious people" and i whip out my magic wand and magically poof them all into shrimpies and eat them....

and then i take my uniccorn and he was like "damn you hoe you almost got me killed" and he was so angry he flew to the spca and raped all the animals

and then he was hungry so i bought him some fried ferret...
and then he got all whiny because the ferret wasn't propperly seasned with children sprinkles

so I went and found him an orphan and had it deepfried and gave it to him....

s it was just me and my unicorn with tentacles...all alone...and i got lonely and i cried....my unicorn felt bad ...


so my unicorn went and found me a kitten...and we played my favorite game which is who can kick the kitten the farthest...I won of course so the kittewn eventually died and we ended up selling it to a vegan and telling her it was a very rare ...furry red cucumber

and it was one of the best days ever....
and we made passionate unicornytentacley spiffy love
and fell asleep in eachother's tentacles/arms

the next morning i woke up to find myself laying next to tm cruise....it turns out tom cruise is a shapeshifter and can magically transform into a unicorn with tentacles.....

so i bit off his nipples and replaced them with barbie doll heads